No Regrets

"To love yourself is the beginning to life long affair" ~Oscar Wilde

I have NO regrets in life. Regrets just lead to "What ifs" and what would be that point of that. I am very happy to admit that I have the strongest women surrounding me in my life. Unfortunately one does not think she is strong enough to handle anything. She is my godmother, and she has been through a bitter divorce and many other struggles in her life. She is an amazing woman. She has no idea what she has to offer to the world.

If there is one thing I would want anyone to take away from me writing this, it would be to love yourself. Until you begin to love yourself and rely on yourself, you will never find a man worth your time.

I did not have a "boyfriend" until I was 22. It only lasted 3 months but I'm glad it didn't go any further. I was taught as a young girl that you should be able to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. Until then you shouldn't even try looking because all you are going to do is become someone, that someone else wants you to be. Yes I'm opinionated and I tell it like it is. I have morals and values that I am not going to give up just because a guy with green eyes and dark brown hair tells me to. That would be why the first "boyfriend" and I broke up. I also became someone I wasn't happy with being. I had given my all and become someone completely different. I stopped being strong and confident. I relied on him to tell me what I was doing and how I should feel doing it. When that relationship ended I was devastated, but when I look back now....it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man that I absolutely adore and can't wait to see where it takes me. I have also gotten back to who I am and who I'll always be, and he is happy with who I am. He won't try and change me. He knows that if he does, he'll lose me. I also know that nothing in life is guaranteed so I'm going to live every moment and appreciate every kiss/hug.

No Regrets.

Pretty Girl Swag...

So after almost a month of not talking to my ex guess who calls....If you guessed Steven Spielberg...you would be incorrect and I wish! Nope, my ex calls me. Any other time before I started dating my honey, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. I've always been the type of person to keep people in my life, unless they did something so wrong that it was unforgivable. Gray didn't do anything but say one thing and mean another. (He was a very confusing person.) So I answered, not thoroughly understanding why this man was calling me when we haven't been together since January, but we talked. I still don't know what he wants from me. I know he was trying to get a rise out of me and because I'm a new person, he didn't. He still seems to think he knows me...poor guy. He has no clue. I don't hate him, that chapter of my life is over and I have moved on and met a wonderful man. He honestly seems to think I hate his guts... If I did, would I be answering his phone call?!

I just honestly feel bad for the woman he has under his spell right now. I was there, not too long ago. Gray can make you feel like you are the only woman in his sights, unfortunately that is a lie...He may say those girls are the ones who are always talking to him, but no...he is keeping them around to have backups when you guys break up. Whatever, it is no longer my business. All I hope for, is your happiness and hopefully he won't screw you over....I'm thankful for the fact that we are done, it wasn't meant to be for us.

No worries, my day was great overall. Poolside with a book and my cousins, along with my best friend Tricia. Watched Bounty Hunter, funny movie. McFlurry eaten, Chiloso for dinner. Then tv with Amy and Tricia. Workout went well, I ran a mile without stopping. Weight loss is up to 8 pounds. :-) Can't wait for Ryan to see me! August couldn't come sooner.

Enjoying Another New Beginning....

As most of you know I moved to Montana two years ago to get a fresh start after having entered the military and being discharged. I have since moved back home to the beautiful state of Texas. I will be attending Texas Tech in the Fall and will be double majoring in Business and Acting.

I am not witty, nor am I charming. I am just a open and honest person. Pretty much, this blog is hopefully going to help me and you learn and understand life through my eyes.

If you didn't already know I was in a major car accident a little over a year ago. A 76 year old man going the wrong way down the highway clipped the driver's side of my car, deploying the side air bag. He then kept going down the highway crossing the grassy median and making a u-turn to come back the way he had come and continuing down the highway until a state trooper caught up with him. What I do not understand is, how the state trooper could later come up to my hotel room in Bozeman, Mt and tell me that it was an "honest mistake". How is going down the highway the wrong way at 9 o'clock in the morning, an "honest mistake"? Anyway with all that I have been in physical therapy for a little under a year. From what I am told I will always live with this pain. It is how I deal with it that will matter most.

My journey to gaining my life back began a few months after my ex and I broke up. I found myself searching for the me I had lost in the few months I had been with him. So I began to climb Mount Sentinel everyday for 3 months. Rain or Shine I was up on that mountain. I learned strength and understanding for things I could not control. I began to understand what I needed to do to find me. I still have the back injury from the car accident and I'm still in a certain amount of pain all the time. The pain has gone down considerably. I continue to work through the pain. I will constantly be appreciating the things I used to do without the pain.

I'm moving out the Lubbock Texas for the fall semester. From what I am to understand, there isn't a lot to do out there. I am told that there is Paloduro Canyon, but that is about 2 hours north. I guess I will be making an excursion up there at least once a month. I'm a very active person, I'm just glad the accident didn't take that away from me fully. So here is to another new beginning. I've had at least 2 of them so far. Third time is the charm, right?

The part I think you'll find most interesting out of this blog is the fact that I ramble and I mean I jump around considerably! So try and enjoy it. I have my bad days just like most, but I try and remain positive about life these days....

<3