Michael

The entire class of Wylie High School of 2005 is grieving for the loss of our dear friend and classmate. No one has ever had anything bad to say about him. He lit up the room when he walked in with a smile. He had an amazing soul and was a true friend to everyone he came into contact with. He left this world far too soon.

Michael was a very good friend of mine and though we lost touch after graduation I always knew that if he needed me or I needed him we had each other's backs. There are many more people in our class that were closer to him and for them I have a loss for words. Honestly if I'm feeling this lost without him I can't even imagine what the people that saw him everyday or spoke with him more often are feeling.

No one knows the pain someone is going through until all of a sudden we are crushed by an event such as this.

There are the five stages of grief. I'm still in stage one: denial. I want to believe he wanted to live but was taken away from us by someone who could commit this act. No matter how much I want this to be true, it is not. I don't know how long I'll be in this stage but it kills me inside to believe I didn't show him how much I loved him before he passed away. I wish I had one last chance to say I love you and you are amazing!

The world lost a wonderful soul on Monday and my world will never be the same. Michael McClendon will forever be in our hearts and minds.

Another night

I've been in a weird jealous/envious mood. I'm trying to focus on getting through the next week because Ryan should be back in Texas by next Friday. My jealousy stems from the other women that are in my position. I haven't heard one thing from Ryan, which I know is because he is working and isn't allowed to, but I'm frustrated because some of the other women are hearing from their guys. I'm trying really hard not to care but sometimes I wonder if it's just because we aren't married and he doesn't feel the need to keep in contact with me or if he thinks I'm strong enough to handle no contact. All I know is, I am going bonkers.

I know I act all tough but sometimes all I want to hear is "I love you and miss you"... Or just say something that lets me know he is thinking about me. I am still a girl.

Living the dream...

Alright we are going to give this a go one more time. I know I keep saying this but I seriously want this to work.

So this blog may become the newest version of how I'm dealing with the transition of living by myself into living with a man that I've been dating (long distance) for two years. I'm hoping that I can handle having him around all the time. I'm just used to living independently and not having to worry about coming home to someone else. I have 32 days to come to terms with the living experience I'm about to jump into. My first falter would be living with someone who, granted I've been with for 2 years, I've never lived with ever. We are literally jumping in from long distance to living together. No in between. I know it will be difficult but if it is meant to work out, it will, right? We both have major things to work on personally and hopefully by living together we can help each other out with those particular faults.

1. Honest to a fault
2. Abrasive with words
3. Stubborn
4. Wasteful with money

The above list is just some of the faults, I have, that could potential kill my relationship....

We are going to hopefully keep this blog up to do a weekly update on how I'm coping with the upcoming transition and after. I honestly want this to work beyond anything else. I want to marry this man so hopefully I won't sabotage anything. :-)

Obama Must Go...

I got this from a friend. I don't know how accurate it is but I thought it was interesting.:

 

Mr. Hope and Change wants to create a nation humbled; humiliated, casting-aside capitalism and individual freedoms for one where “we the people” are government controlled. This would be a system that genuflects mediocrity, steals personal aspiration and opportunity, and punishes those who strive to succeed.

A gallon of regular gasoline the day Obama was inaugurated was $1.79 on average in the U.S.... Today that price is $3.59, a 100.6% increase. The number of food stamp recipients has risen since Obama took office from 31,983,716 to 43,200,878, a 35.1% jump. Long term unemployment soared 146.2% during the same 32 month period from 2,600,000 to 6,400,000. Staggering “hope and change” isn't it?

American citizens living in poverty have risen 9.5% from 39,800,000 to 43,600,000, and the number of unemployed has jumped almost 25% from 11,616,000 to 14,485,000 as of August 31, 2011. The number of unemployed blacks has risen from 12.6% at the end of George Bush's term to 15.8% today, a 25.4% increase, and finally, our national debt is up 34.4% from 10.627 trillion to 14,278 trillion *

Keep these figures in mind as we recount the number of “firsts” for this presidency:

First President to refuse to show a valid birth certificate.

First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

First President to preside over a cut to the credit rating of the United States .

First President to violate the War Powers Act.

First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico ..

First President to defy a Federal Judges court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.

First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

First President to spend a trillion dollars on shovel-ready jobs and later admit there was no such thing as shovel-ready jobs.

First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.

First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.

First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

First President to terminate Americas ability to put a man in space.

First President to encourage racial discrimination and intimidation at polling places.

First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly speak-out on the reasons for their rate increases.

First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state they are allowed to locate a factory.

First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (Az, WI, OH, IN)

First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.

First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

First President to appoint 45 Czars to replace elected officials in his office.

First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office.

First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.

First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

First President to coddle American enemies while alienating Americas allies.

First President to publicly bow to Americas enemies while refusing to salute the U.S. Flag.

First President to go on multiple global apology tours.

First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends, paid for by the taxpayer.

First President to refuse to wear the U.S. Flag lapel pin.

First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000.00 a year at taxpayer expense.

First President to repeat “the Holy Qur'an tells us,” and openly admit “the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.”

Remember that 32 months of Obama White House we the people have accumulated national debt at a rate more than 27 times as fast as during the rest of our nation's entire history, as the Obama's plan their next extravagant vacation to the Indonesian Island nation of Bali .

Hope and change anyone?

* sources: U.S. Energy Information Administration, Wall Street Journal, Bureau of Labor Statistics, US Dept of Labor, Standard & Poors/Case-Shiller, Federal Reserve, US Treasury, Heritage Foundation.

God bless and protect us, our Constitution and our Republic

No Matter How Far You Try to Go....

I love my little brother with all of my heart and there are a lot of different things going on in his life that seem to want to bring him down. I have to stand by and watch as my best friend in the entire world seems to disappear and fall into a giant black hole.

I've been known well to my family as my little brother's second mother. So as such I feel a sense of responsibility for the man he has become today. He saw how my brother treated my mother and me. He watched as I was physically abused by my older brother. He also watched as that same brother used drugs and became someone who is now in jail and dealing with different demons of his own. Of all the people in this world to be going through this, I did not expect him. I hope and pray things become clear to him that he is irreplaceable and that I love him dearly. I just wish this wasn't happening at all.