Acting 101?

The medication I am on makes me weak and nauseous and not to mention depressed a little. I am about to let everyone in on the way I've been feeling. I don't want to be criticized or attacked. I feel this way because my brain responds that way.

As Jes and I were driving to Olive Garden for dinner tonight I mentioned to her that I feel useless in our theatre department at Tech. I haven't been cast in a show for a school since I was in high school and I've made a few strides outside of the theatre department at CATS playhouse. I love theatre and I want this to be my career but when you feel like everyone but yourself gets cast it starts to wear you down. I've been told by a few people that I am meant for bigger and better things, but how is that possible when I can't even get cast at the educational level? I don't want people to respond to this as me trying to get pity. I would prefer a chance. It seems like these directors don't give people chances. I just need someone out there to give me the opportunity to prove that I am just as good, if not better, than most of the actors/actresses they cast. I'm dedicated to my craft. I learn quickly and I work well with others. Maybe I view myself to highly? I also think that in theatre you never get away from the high school click. You are either the cool kid who gets cast or the outcast who gets acknowledged only when they want to acknowledge you. I know I have pretty tough skin but sometimes I just crave someone telling me I'm good not because they feel obligated to or because I asked "Was that good?" I've had several critiques in my lifetime, one of them being from James McClure himself telling me that I portrayed Elizabeth exactly how he had pictured her. I'm lost and confused.

Most of you who read this probably don't care or just think I'm being whiny. You don't have to read my blog but for the folks that do understand what I am going through, please help. I am just at a loss for what to do next. So do I keep moving forward on my career path or should I try and find a back up plan? Los Angeles or Austin? Law School or MFA?

I want it to be worthwhile! I want to continue to have a hunger for my craft and learn everyday. Strive for the best and be the best.