So far I've had some crazy ups and downs this year...I am not even out of January. I lost a friend due to a drug overdose (most likely, no one knows the true c.o.d.) back at the beginning of the year. It didn't seem real until I was able to visit her grave site on Sunday with a close friend of mine. We began to talk about a lot of different things in my life and whether I am happy or not. 

Do not get me wrong, I am happy. I am positive this is where I am supposed to be right now, I may have wanted things differently but sometimes there is one way that everything has to be done. (My friend helped me see it this way.) I know sometimes it may not seem like I am the happiest. My life has been completely stressful and it hasn't been easy doing a lot of things on my own. I don't like to be considered a person that takes advantage of people that I love. So when someone offers help I tend to turn them down. Trying to make ends meet isn't fun and it is hard but with the help of people that don't care whether I need it or want it, I have been able to stay a float. So far this semester has started off easy but I am sure it will get difficult with time. Taking core classes that I must pass to graduate is going to throw me but with the support of some of the people I care most for, I know that I can do it.

I am a major control freak and when things aren't done my way, I can't handle it. So along with the journeys of being single and looking for a job after college, I will be adding "learning to let things go". Maybe even trying to be a little kinder to people and not so abrasive when I speak. Its all about making myself better this year. I will overcome some obstacles and I might fail but no matter what I learn.